Cayce's Birth Story

Cayce Williams was born in the late afternoon of March 2, 2010. She weighed nearly eight pounds and was perfect in every way. Immediately after birth she was placed on her mother’s stomach, eyes wide open, taking in the world around her. Her parents were able to look at her, hold her, and enjoy those first moments as a family together. Her mother had worked so hard for many hours in order to finally enjoy this moment.

Labor began early in the morning the day before. Contractions were tolerable and sporadic for most of the day, but Jenifer knew that her baby would be coming soon, so she spent the day in preparation for what was ahead, by packing and making food. Jenifer called her family, and they were soon on their way to witness this birth experience. She wondered if her water had broken, and contemplated going to the hospital to have things checked out.

Towards evening, Jenifer’s contractions became stronger and more regular. She decided to get into the bathtub to relax and to help her manage the stronger contractions. It was at this point, Sam’s mother came over to join them and that the doula was called. After a couple of hours in the tub, and many very strong contractions that Jenifer managed so well, she decided to move into the bed. Getting out of the tub was difficult, and Jenifer experienced some very strong contractions and nausea. Everyone wondered if she might be close to giving birth, and it was decided to head over to the hospital in Salem. Jenifer was not ready to get out of bed, though, so everyone waited for her and then supported her out to the car.

At the hospital Jenifer was found to be 2.5 centimeters dilated. Her contractions continued on regularly and intensely, and the hospital staff realized that she might be farther along than she was measuring because of a bit of scar tissue that was probably restricting dilation. The nurses opened up a room for her so that she could labor in the bathtub for a while. She was checked every hour for four hours, while having contractions about three minutes apart, and continued to remain at 2.5 centimeters dilated. To carry on without having progress was so difficult, but Jenifer continued to work so hard. She amazed everyone around her, including the staff at the hospital.

Towards five in the morning, Jenifer was checked again and was found to be closer to four centimeters dilated! Jenifer decided that at this point she would like to have IV medications to help make contractions more manageable. She had not slept in a very long time, and hoped that the medication would help her rest between contractions. She now labored in the hospital bed, on her side. She liked having her back and feet massaged, her head stroked, and maintaining eye contact with Sam, who never left her side. So many people remarked at what a close couple they were, how strong Jenifer was, and what an amazing support that Sam was to her.

By 10 o’clock, the IV medications were not as effective as they once were, and Jenifer felt like she needed more to get through. She was now seven centimeters dilated. Her back was hurting so much and she was very tired. The nurse and her doula suggested that she go to the bathroom and spend some time leaning forward, as that might help her baby to rotate and come down farther. This was, by far, the most intense part of Jenifer’s labor. She worked so hard, and everyone so admired her strength and determination!

After some time on her feet, Jenifer decided to get an epidural. Everyone around her supported this decision, wanting her to get some relief from her contractions. It took some time for the epidural to fully take effect, but it finally did and everyone was relieved that Jenifer could finally have some respite from the pain she was experiencing. Family members took turns resting, quietly visiting, and supporting the expectant couple.

At three o’clock, the nurse felt just a small lip of cervix over the baby’s head that she was able to push back as Jenifer pushed. It was time to start pushing! Although Jenifer was told that the first pushes were for practice, she did awesome right from the start. She pushed at the peak of the contractions, with Sam and her doula supporting her legs, and it wasn’t long before the top of her baby’s head was visible. By the time the doctor came into the room, Jenifer was nearly crowing. During the final pushes, all of Jenifer’s family came close so that they could see baby Cayce be born. It was an amazing sight! She came out with her hand by her face, surrounded by so many people who marveled at her and loved her.

It is always such an honor to be present during a labor and birth. It is such an intimate time for a couple and for a family, and I can’t help but be amazed every time at the miracle of it all. Sam and Jenifer were a very special partnership, and it was very evident to all that saw them together that they have an extraordinary relationship. I saw in Jenifer such a strong, strong woman. She truly amazed me, and I will always remember the grace and strength that she possessed during this time of her life.

Sylvia's Birth Story

This is the story of a birth that I attended last Spring -- an amazingly peaceful experience. I am always so grateful to families that allow me to be a part of such an important time in their lives.

Contractions began for Melanie on the evening of April 16^th, after her baby shower. She tried to go to sleep for the night, knowing that her baby would be coming soon, but she was too excited, and didn’t sleep until very early in the morning. Her contractions were strong, but remained spaced apart.

Throughout the next day she continued to have regular, strong contractions. She and her doula went on a walk, enjoying a very beautiful morning with many flowers in bloom. Melanie, her husband and their doula went to the Farmer’s Market to pass the time, all while she was having contractions. She found some soap she really liked and ate a bit of bread. She ran into several people that she knows, and all were amazed that she could actually be in labor. Melanie had such a big smile on her face, she was so excited, and no one expected to see such a happy laboring woman.

Early in the afternoon Melanie’s doula left Melanie and Kuno alone in the house for a couple of hours so that they could rest. Everyone hoped that by resting and being in a quiet house that Melanie’s contractions would intensify and become closer together. Alone time worked, and three hours later (around 4 pm) Melanie was ready to go to the hospital.

Melanie’s contractions were much more intense, but she continued to have a smile on her face. All of the people who saw her commented on her happy attitude and told her how amazing she was. When she was checked in, her cervix was checked and found to be 2.5 centimeters. The hospital staff wanted her to spend time walking around because they did not want to admit her until she was 3 centimeters. So everyone did a bit of walking the halls. Melanie relied on her husband for support while she was standing. After a couple of contractions in the hall, Melanie asked to go back to the room to sit on the ball for a while. She felt a lot of back pressure, so she liked to have someone push on her back during a contraction.

After 90 minutes in triage, Melanie was found to be nearly 4 centimeters dilated and was taken to a room to have her IVs inserted and antibiotics administered. Melanie was eager to get into the Jacuzzi tub, so it was a long wait to have everything done, but Melanie continued to smile through it all.

Finally she was able to get in the tub, and it was such a relief. It was as good as she imagined it would be. Kuno stayed with Melanie in the bathroom, supporting her through her contractions. After about 45 minutes in the tub, Melanie wondered if she might be pushing. Her nurse helped her out of the tub and onto the bed so that she could be checked again. She was 8 centimeters! Everyone knew the baby was coming soon, and within three contractions, and after a couple of kisses from her husband, Melanie was actually pushing (still smiling). No one needed to tell her how to do it, she just knew exactly how!

Sylvia was born before 8 pm and was perfect in every way. Her mother and father were so excited to meet her and to introduce her to Big Sister. Sylvia nursed right away, showing everyone how healthy and strong she was.

Has Hospital Birth Lost Its Way?

Me, with a very cheesy grin, about two hours from birthing Charlie.

The last several births I have been to in hospitals have been awesome, and I have seen the nurses treating laboring mothers with so much respect and care. I was interested to read this article in the Huffington Post today. I do think it is important to remember that hospitals are like a giant machine, and it is easy for things to start getting rushed and out-of-control. Having extra support is so important, in my opinion.

A quote I liked from the article:

"We need to make sure that we reduce the overuse of interventions that are not always necessary, like C-sections, and increase access to the care that we know is good for mothers and babies, like labor support." -- Maureen Corry, executive director of Childbirth Connection.

Birth is Best

One week ago today, I had the privilege of being at the birth of a good friend. It is the only home birth that I have witnessed, besides my own, and it just really touched me. The mama was such a strong and powerful woman during her labor and her midwives remained totally in the background until they were needed. Baby was born into warm water, with his family around him, to dim lights and quiet voices. It was a special experience. I wanted to just write a few things down while they are fresh in my mind.
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Birth is best when we stop focusing on due dates. The pressure of going overdue in our society is HUGE. Before most women have reached their due date they are being hounded by friends and family to find out why that baby hasn't been born yet. Science has yet to discover why babies come when they do, and I think it is best to assume that there is a very good reason that baby chooses the day he is born. Any woman who has been pregnant knows all too well the physical and emotional discomfort that the last weeks of pregnancy can bring, so it very important to honor pregnant mothers with support and love, not questions and comments about how the baby is getting too big or that something must be wrong. Baby will come at just the right time if we allow him to.
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Birth is best when moms have choices. Choices about where to birth -- home or hospital, when to give birth -- no pressure of inductions, how to give birth and choices about who will be in attendance. Did you know that homebirth and even a birth attended by a midwife (in a hospital or birth center) is illegal in some states? This means that in this country women have more choices and options when it comes to terminating a pregnancy than they do when it comes to making choices about their maternity care and how/where they want to give birth? A woman should also have the choice, after making an informed decision, to give birth vaginally after having a c-section if that is her desire.
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Birth is best when we stop looking at the clock. One of the main differences you will notice if you get to witness a homebirth with awesome midwives, is that no one is going to stick their hand in a vagina and check dilation (even if you beg them to), unless there is a pretty good reason. Smart midwives understand that how far dilated someone is is not really an indication of much. We've all heard of that woman who walked around dilated to six centimeters for days before her baby was born, or the woman dilated from zero to 10 in the space of an hour and nearly had her baby in the car. Every labor is different, just as every baby is different. When we get stuck on the numbers it can be so disheartening to hear something that we didn't want to hear or give false hope when we still have hours of laboring ahead. The process of birth is a journey towards surrender, giving in to the process, letting our body just do its job as it is designed to do, without getting hung up on how you think it is supposed to happen.
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Birth is best when we center on the mother and honor her. Pregnant women are more than cute bumps and adorable maternity clothes and accessories. While it can be fun to open a million presents and play silly games about guessing which chocolate bar has been smeared in which diaper, an event that honors the pregnant mother, and her journey towards birth and motherhood are seriously lacking in our society. If you ever have the chance to attend (or better yet, plan or be the recipient of) a mother's blessing, I encourage you to do so. Gathering women together to send love and best wishes to the expectant mother is so special and deserved. I was very interested to learn recently that these types of events were very common during the early years of my own personal religious culture.
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Birth is best when we trust that mom (and dad) know best. I guess this is all the stuff that happens after the birth, all of the decisions that come when little baby is here. What baby will eat, where baby will sleep, shots, circumcision, discipline, etc. Everyone will have an opinion that they want to share, but it is important to remember that mom knows what is best for her child, and we don't want to do anything that will damper the natural instinct that she has to care for her children. I can be guilty of this, so I think it is a good reminder.
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I have a friend who told me that birth is like a wedding -- it should happen exactly how the mother (bride) wants it to. And this is so true...weddings take much preparation and planning, there is excitement and stress, we invite who we want to be there (no one would dream of crashing in on a wedding uninvited), we choose our location and attendant carefully, and through it all the bride is center stage, the one given the most consideration, the most honor. Birth can and should be the exact same way. Birth is best if it is.

Do You Doula?

Why the Fuss?

I've had to delete this post because it has caused some unwelcome traffic. I'll try and find a link to another one so you can find it if you need to.

Two Births, One Doula

As soon as we saw the plus on the stick, my husband looked at me and said, "Are you going to call Stacey?" So before I called a midwife and before I even told my mother about my third pregnancy, I called my doula to make sure she was available to support me at this birth. There was such peace knowing that she would be there with us again.

My doula left such an impression with me after my second birth. When she came into our hospital room she brought with her so much confidence -- confidence that I could birth my baby MY way. Confidence that I could get through it and that all things would play out exactly as they should. She breathed with me through ever contraction, shushed my husband and mother when I asked her to, knelt by my feet while I rocked in a chair, sat next to the tub while I moaned, whispered over and over that I could do this, that my baby would be here soon. She prepared me for some serious pain, dried my naked body with warm towels and helped me dress. She helped me walk, make the arduous climb onto the too tall hospital bed. She was unfazed and matter-of-fact. She was my lifeline and connection to Earth. And when baby came, when I finally got to hold him in my arms, she faded into the walls, guarding my space, so that I could marvel at my newborn with his daddy.

You understand now why I couldn't imagine giving birth again without her there.

It was awesome having her at my home as my doula the second time around, but just as each birth is never the same, our doula/client relationship was different this time also. Here is an excerpt from an email I sent Stacey just a couple of weeks after the birth of our third son, Sam.

I have wanted to tell you that I feel like I learned more about being a doula after Sam’s birth then I thought I could. Even though you did more physically when I was birthing Charlie, you were there for me more emotionally for Sam. It felt very nurturing, maybe because I trusted/knew you more. It was a beautiful experience to have you there. I feel even more inspired and more equipped to work with women.

My third labor, once active, was a collision course towards pushing and birth. I was so in the zone ("labor land", as some people call it), I barely noticed the presence of anyone. I needed to totally go inside of myself in order to manage the pain and maintain some control over my body. This time I didn't need my doula right by my side assisting me through every contraction, talking me through it all, encouraging me with her words. Instead what I needed was just...HER. Her presence, her energy, and her nurturing spirit.

After Sam was born, and I was all cleaned up and snuggling my baby in bed with me, my doula came into the room to say good-bye. It was time for her to go home. She brought me a drink and then smoothed my damp hair off of my face, and told me that I had done such an amazing job and that she was so glad that she got to be there. Her words and touch soothed me more than anything else I had experienced that night, because she made me feel honored and special, that my birth wasn't just all about getting a "healthy baby".

Being a doula is more than just the physical services that we have to offer. Labor positioning, massage, coaching, praising, counting and hand holding are all very important, and each birth demands its own type of support, but being a good doula is more than just being good at these things. Being a good doula is about embodying the entire definition of the word doula, to provide physical and emotional support for the pregnant and birthing woman. And, in my opinion, none of that physical stuff will work without an emotional connection. It is that critical.