Sam's Birth Story, Part I

Never has a pregnancy seemed to stretch out over eternity. Never has a pregnancy seemed to pass by in the blink of an eye. Looking back over the last 10 months, I am amazed at all that has occurred, and all that I have experienced and learned while pregnant and giving birth to little Sam. I am reminded of how ordinary pregnancy and childbirth are -- thousands and thousands of women experience it every day -- but also how growing a baby inside of you (a soul that started out as two cells), and then laying eyes on your baby for the first time, is the greatest miracle ever to be experienced by a mother. I feel so blessed to have experienced this miracle again in my life.

I wasn't thinking about the miracles of childbirth, however, when I was puking my guts out for the first six months of this pregnancy. I truly had never felt so miserable. Sudden movements, bright lights, or any smell at all would send me running to the kitchen sink. I honestly wished I could curl up in my bed, in my dark bedroom, for the rest of my life (or at least until the baby was born). Everyone I talked to said they thought I must be pregnant with a girl this time because of how much more sick I was.I also heard from several people that the third pregnancy and birth can really throw you for a loop, so I should prepare for anything. I had felt so awesome after giving birth to Charlie, often referring to it as the perfect labor and birth, and felt daunted by the idea of trying to manage something that might be more difficult. Especially since Mike and I had decided even before I was pregnant that if we had another child we would do it at home, with the assistance of a midwife. While having Charlie in the hospital was just fine, and everything turned out great, my post-partum experience there was pretty horrific, and neither of us felt like it was the right place for us to have another baby. I found an amazing homebirth midwife, who had an equally amazing apprentice, and I started getting really excited about actually experiencing a birth at home.

At 20 weeks I went in for a routine ultrasound and was thrown my first "loop". The technician assured me throughout the screening that the baby looked great and healthy, but I could just tell that something was up. I had a nagging feeling for a day or so, and kept bugging my midwife for the report (for some reason it took several extra days for her to receive it). Three days after my ultrasound she called to tell me that I had a complete placenta previa. I was totally in shock when I heard the news. I couldn't get ahold of Mike, so I called my doula (and friend), Stacey, and just cried and cried to her about the idea of trading in my homebirth for a surgical one.A complete previa means that the baby's placenta was situated directly over my cervix, which, if by 37 weeks the placenta had not moved, the baby would need to be delivered by cesarean section. Also, with a previa, there was a likelihood of pre-term bleeding and premature birth, as any strenuous activity or dilation and effacement could cause severe bleeding. I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks. Not only was I looking at the real possibility of having a surgical birth (the Internet didn't offer much hope of a complete previa resolving), but there was a real possibility that I might have to go into the hospital for a long term stay if I did experience any bleeding and that our baby could be born pre-term, possibly needing a NICU stay. Interestingly, about a week before I found out about my diagnosis, a family friend had been hospitalized at 28 weeks for a complete previa. She ended up having to stay in the hospital for about five weeks before they delivered the babies by c-section. Mike and I started trying to make plans for what we would do if we were faced with the worst case scenario.

Around the same time, our youngest, Charlie, started experiencing some very strange health issues. He would wake up shaking uncontrollably, with muscle weakness and balance problems. This went on for several days before I took him to the doctor for testing. It could be anything to a strep infection to the onset of a muscular dystrophy. We had no idea. After a week of sleepless nights and so many tears, all of the test results came back negative. Although most of the issues had resolved, we still weren't sure what the cause was.

With all of this stuff going on, it was really hard to feel excited about my pregnancy. I didn't even want to read any of my birth books or talk about the birth. When people would ask me about my pregnancy, I didn't really know what to say. It seemed like just when I was starting to feel physically better, I was mentally at my worst. The unknown of everything that was going on was more than I thought I could handle. My husband, however, remained optimistic through it all, encouraging me to have faith that things would work out as they were meant to, that all would be well.

Meanwhile, my midwives were also very optimistic that things were going to be just fine. My midwife's apprentice, Lennon, had actually read some research that indicated that my previa was in the perfect position to move. They encouraged me to visualize it moving, and suggested some herbs to take that had been related to successful resolution of the diagnosis. It helped to feel like I could actually do something rather than sit around for eight weeks waiting to learn my fate. Finally, finally, finally, at 28 weeks pregnant, we discovered that the placenta had actually moved (a full 7 cm away from my cervix) making it totally possible to have the baby vaginally and at home. I felt like those ton of bricks that had been weighing me down for the past two months were finally shrugged off my shoulders. I was elated, and actually started thinking about the upcoming birth, trying to connect with this baby inside of me for the first time.

I Had a Baby!

On May 24, we welcomed a new little boy into our home. Now you know why I've been such a slow blogger. I've decided to share Sam's birth story on this site (it is in several parts, and is still on-going) and plan on publishing a slide-show of his birth once the story is complete. I should be back to doula work late Fall, so don't hesitate to contact me if you are due after that time.

The Joys (and Ease) of Babywearing

My sister carrying my niece, Ava, in a ring sling while touring the fabric district in L.A.

I knew when I had my second child that I wanted a way to keep baby attached to me during the day, so that I was able to have my hands free to care for my older son. I had used a Baby Bjorn when my first was small, but that caused my back to ache and I don't think it was very comfortable for baby. So I did a lot of research and eventually had a ring sling made for me, and then went on to make my own pouch and then a mei tai. I was bitten by the baby wearing bug.

Charlie loved the pouch!

There are so many carrier options, that with a little bit of research parents can find the perfect carrier (or carriers) to suit their lifestyle. A good place to start is The Babywearer website. There you will find descriptions of different carriers, reviews of particular products and the vendors that sell them. Locally, there is a babywearing group that gathers regularly to troubleshoot issues, try on different carriers and promote the idea of babywearing.

Charlie, as a newborn, cuddled in my ring sling.

I wish I had pictures of me wearing my children as they have gotten older, but with the right carrier it is possible to carry your child until they are over 30 pounds with no discomfort. It makes having a stroller pretty obsolete. And making dinner with a fussy baby who wants to be held a piece of cake.

I'm Back!

I apologize for my long absence, but I'm excited about the upcoming months and all that is happening in the birth world. Look forward to more regular posts from me.

I just had to share this amazing video, showing a woman singing her baby down during labor. It is absolutely beautiful and inspirational!

Madeleine's Birth Story

September 25th 2007

On Tuesday morning, at (35 weeks, 6 days pregnant) before she went to work, McKenzie had the sensation that maybe her bag of waters had broken. She made the decision to just keep an eye on things and continued on with her day. As time went on, she became more concerned that she may be leaking amniotic fluid, so she called her doula, Amy, to get her opinion. Amy suggested that she contact her doctor and get an opinion from them, but also told McKenzie that everything was probably fine and not to worry. McKenzie trusted her instincts and despite speaking to someone at her doctor’s office who did not think that her water had broken, insisted that she get checked, so she and her husband went to Labor and Delivery. Once she had checked in, it was determined that McKenzie was correct, her bag of waters was ruptured and her baby was going to be born that day. She was feeling some mild contractions at that point. After a vaginal exam, her doctor wasn’t sure if the baby was head down, so an ultrasound was performed and McKenzie and Treven discovered that their baby girl was in a breech position. She would need to be delivered by cesarean section. The surgery was scheduled for 9:00 p.m., as McKenzie had eaten on the way to the hospital (wanting to keep up her strength for impending labor).

Despite the change of plans, McKenzie and Treven maintained such a positive attitude, focusing on getting to meet their healthy baby. McKenzie’s mother arrived at the hospital around 7:00 p.m. and was soon followed by McKenzie’s father, step-mother and then her brother. The grandparents were so excited for the birth of their granddaughter, although a little nervous about what their daughter may have to go through. All during this time, the baby’s heart rate was monitored with an external fetal monitor, and her she sounded very healthy and active. At 8:00 p.m. the anesthesiologist consulted with McKenzie about the details of her surgery. Twenty minutes later, family left McKenzie and Treven for the waiting room, allowing the couple some alone time to reflect on their impending parenthood before the surgery.

At 8:30 Treven’s mother and brother arrived and were able to go back and quickly wish the parents luck before they also came to the waiting room to wait it out. Everyone anxiously awaited any news and were watching the doors for Treven’s face. At 10:45, Treven finally came into the waiting room to let everyone know that Madeleine had been born at 9:24 p.m., was 6 pounds, 6 ounces, and 18 inches long. Baby was doing well and had been able to nurse and spend time with mom and dad very soon after delivery. Much cheering and hugging ensued. The grandparents (and doula) were invited back to see mom and baby in the recovery room. McKenzie looked so happy and proud, and despite her trembling arms, was able to cuddle little Madeleine to her with ease. She was a natural mother. Everyone gushed over the very adorable baby and took lots of pictures.

Although McKenzie didn’t get to have the exact childbirth experience she wanted, she was able to deliver a very healthy baby with the encouragement of her husband and loving family. I felt so honored to be able to support McKenzie and Treven at the birth of their daughter. It is something that I will always remember.

Kegels -- the Exercise For "Down There"

I remember being about 34 weeks pregnant with my second son when my midwife sat me down and had the "kegel talk". She basically informed me that if I had a desire to minimize perineal tearing at birth, prevent urine leakage, and have a speedier recovery, I needed to get serious about doing kegel exercises on a regular basis. Previously, I had been half-hearted, at best, in my efforts to exercise my pelvic floor muscles, not doing anything with any regularity -- a kegel here, a kegel there, even though I knew the potential benefits. I suppose, until my midwife got serious with me, I didn't truly understand the benefits of kegels for not only pregnant women, but women of all ages.

The Kegel exercise is named after a doctor who developed the exercises to tone and strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. These muscles act like a hammock, holding up the uterus, bladder, and bowel. A strong pelvic floor prevents organ prolapse (vaginal, uterine, rectal) and urine leakage, while promoting healing to the perineum. The exercise also tightens and strengthens the muscles in the vagina, providing greater sexual sensation.

It may take a little practice to find the right muscles to exercise, but a great way to initially practice the contraction is to try and stop the flow of urine while you are going to the bathroom (do not make a habit of stopping and starting your urine flow, as it can actually weaken the pelvic floor, but just try it initially to find the right muscles). If you succeed, then you have just practiced the most basic move. Try it a few more times until you feel confident that you know what muscle to squeeze. You should feel your vagina tighten and your pelvic floor move upward. In relaxing the squeeze, you will feel your pelvic floor move down and your vagina relax. As your muscles get stronger -- and you get more experienced -- this movement will become more pronounced.

As far as a regimen goes, most proponents of the exercise say you need to do about 200 a day to get the benefits. My midwife recommended finding four different times a day that I could spend five minutes doing kegels. I usually was only able to fit in two times a day. I recommend that each session include 10 sets of 10 quick squeezes (with a 10 count rest in between each set of 10) followed by 10 sets of long squeezes (with a 10 count rest in between each set of 10). This should develop into a lifelong habit so that you can see lifelong results.

How to Avoid a C-Section

I recently read an article posted on CNN (linked to by several blogs that I read) which listed very succinctly five ways to avoid a c-section.

1. Don't get induced unless medically necessary

2. Labor at home until you're approximately 3 centimeters dilated.

3. Choose your hospital, and your practitioner, carefully

4. In the delivery room, ask questions if your practitioner says you need a C-section.

5. Get a doula.

Please read the whole article to get more details. With the amount of hospitals who are willing to allow patients to attempt V-BACs (Vaginal Births After Cesarean) nearly disappearing off of the landscape, it is even more important for pregnant ladies to be informed of their practitioner's and hospital's cesarean rates. And while a doula cannot "protect" a woman from getting a c-section, working with a doula can help you endure the last weeks of pregnancy, avoiding induction, and labor in the comfort of your home for as long as possible.