The Joys (and Ease) of Babywearing

My sister carrying my niece, Ava, in a ring sling while touring the fabric district in L.A.

I knew when I had my second child that I wanted a way to keep baby attached to me during the day, so that I was able to have my hands free to care for my older son. I had used a Baby Bjorn when my first was small, but that caused my back to ache and I don't think it was very comfortable for baby. So I did a lot of research and eventually had a ring sling made for me, and then went on to make my own pouch and then a mei tai. I was bitten by the baby wearing bug.

Charlie loved the pouch!

There are so many carrier options, that with a little bit of research parents can find the perfect carrier (or carriers) to suit their lifestyle. A good place to start is The Babywearer website. There you will find descriptions of different carriers, reviews of particular products and the vendors that sell them. Locally, there is a babywearing group that gathers regularly to troubleshoot issues, try on different carriers and promote the idea of babywearing.

Charlie, as a newborn, cuddled in my ring sling.

I wish I had pictures of me wearing my children as they have gotten older, but with the right carrier it is possible to carry your child until they are over 30 pounds with no discomfort. It makes having a stroller pretty obsolete. And making dinner with a fussy baby who wants to be held a piece of cake.

I'm Back!

I apologize for my long absence, but I'm excited about the upcoming months and all that is happening in the birth world. Look forward to more regular posts from me.

I just had to share this amazing video, showing a woman singing her baby down during labor. It is absolutely beautiful and inspirational!

Madeleine's Birth Story

September 25th 2007

On Tuesday morning, at (35 weeks, 6 days pregnant) before she went to work, McKenzie had the sensation that maybe her bag of waters had broken. She made the decision to just keep an eye on things and continued on with her day. As time went on, she became more concerned that she may be leaking amniotic fluid, so she called her doula, Amy, to get her opinion. Amy suggested that she contact her doctor and get an opinion from them, but also told McKenzie that everything was probably fine and not to worry. McKenzie trusted her instincts and despite speaking to someone at her doctor’s office who did not think that her water had broken, insisted that she get checked, so she and her husband went to Labor and Delivery. Once she had checked in, it was determined that McKenzie was correct, her bag of waters was ruptured and her baby was going to be born that day. She was feeling some mild contractions at that point. After a vaginal exam, her doctor wasn’t sure if the baby was head down, so an ultrasound was performed and McKenzie and Treven discovered that their baby girl was in a breech position. She would need to be delivered by cesarean section. The surgery was scheduled for 9:00 p.m., as McKenzie had eaten on the way to the hospital (wanting to keep up her strength for impending labor).

Despite the change of plans, McKenzie and Treven maintained such a positive attitude, focusing on getting to meet their healthy baby. McKenzie’s mother arrived at the hospital around 7:00 p.m. and was soon followed by McKenzie’s father, step-mother and then her brother. The grandparents were so excited for the birth of their granddaughter, although a little nervous about what their daughter may have to go through. All during this time, the baby’s heart rate was monitored with an external fetal monitor, and her she sounded very healthy and active. At 8:00 p.m. the anesthesiologist consulted with McKenzie about the details of her surgery. Twenty minutes later, family left McKenzie and Treven for the waiting room, allowing the couple some alone time to reflect on their impending parenthood before the surgery.

At 8:30 Treven’s mother and brother arrived and were able to go back and quickly wish the parents luck before they also came to the waiting room to wait it out. Everyone anxiously awaited any news and were watching the doors for Treven’s face. At 10:45, Treven finally came into the waiting room to let everyone know that Madeleine had been born at 9:24 p.m., was 6 pounds, 6 ounces, and 18 inches long. Baby was doing well and had been able to nurse and spend time with mom and dad very soon after delivery. Much cheering and hugging ensued. The grandparents (and doula) were invited back to see mom and baby in the recovery room. McKenzie looked so happy and proud, and despite her trembling arms, was able to cuddle little Madeleine to her with ease. She was a natural mother. Everyone gushed over the very adorable baby and took lots of pictures.

Although McKenzie didn’t get to have the exact childbirth experience she wanted, she was able to deliver a very healthy baby with the encouragement of her husband and loving family. I felt so honored to be able to support McKenzie and Treven at the birth of their daughter. It is something that I will always remember.

Kegels -- the Exercise For "Down There"

I remember being about 34 weeks pregnant with my second son when my midwife sat me down and had the "kegel talk". She basically informed me that if I had a desire to minimize perineal tearing at birth, prevent urine leakage, and have a speedier recovery, I needed to get serious about doing kegel exercises on a regular basis. Previously, I had been half-hearted, at best, in my efforts to exercise my pelvic floor muscles, not doing anything with any regularity -- a kegel here, a kegel there, even though I knew the potential benefits. I suppose, until my midwife got serious with me, I didn't truly understand the benefits of kegels for not only pregnant women, but women of all ages.

The Kegel exercise is named after a doctor who developed the exercises to tone and strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. These muscles act like a hammock, holding up the uterus, bladder, and bowel. A strong pelvic floor prevents organ prolapse (vaginal, uterine, rectal) and urine leakage, while promoting healing to the perineum. The exercise also tightens and strengthens the muscles in the vagina, providing greater sexual sensation.

It may take a little practice to find the right muscles to exercise, but a great way to initially practice the contraction is to try and stop the flow of urine while you are going to the bathroom (do not make a habit of stopping and starting your urine flow, as it can actually weaken the pelvic floor, but just try it initially to find the right muscles). If you succeed, then you have just practiced the most basic move. Try it a few more times until you feel confident that you know what muscle to squeeze. You should feel your vagina tighten and your pelvic floor move upward. In relaxing the squeeze, you will feel your pelvic floor move down and your vagina relax. As your muscles get stronger -- and you get more experienced -- this movement will become more pronounced.

As far as a regimen goes, most proponents of the exercise say you need to do about 200 a day to get the benefits. My midwife recommended finding four different times a day that I could spend five minutes doing kegels. I usually was only able to fit in two times a day. I recommend that each session include 10 sets of 10 quick squeezes (with a 10 count rest in between each set of 10) followed by 10 sets of long squeezes (with a 10 count rest in between each set of 10). This should develop into a lifelong habit so that you can see lifelong results.

How to Avoid a C-Section

I recently read an article posted on CNN (linked to by several blogs that I read) which listed very succinctly five ways to avoid a c-section.

1. Don't get induced unless medically necessary

2. Labor at home until you're approximately 3 centimeters dilated.

3. Choose your hospital, and your practitioner, carefully

4. In the delivery room, ask questions if your practitioner says you need a C-section.

5. Get a doula.

Please read the whole article to get more details. With the amount of hospitals who are willing to allow patients to attempt V-BACs (Vaginal Births After Cesarean) nearly disappearing off of the landscape, it is even more important for pregnant ladies to be informed of their practitioner's and hospital's cesarean rates. And while a doula cannot "protect" a woman from getting a c-section, working with a doula can help you endure the last weeks of pregnancy, avoiding induction, and labor in the comfort of your home for as long as possible.

Wondering Whether to Hire a Doula?

If finances has been a concern in whether or not to hire a doula for your upcoming birth, I wanted to put it out there that I will be offering my services at a HUGE discount while I am working towards DONA certification. Please contact me if you would like more specific information.

What About Dad?

Many fathers may wonder how having a doula present at birth will affect their role in their child's birth. I think it's natural to feel nervous about the prospect of bringing another person into the birthing space. Penny Simkin, P.T., a world-renowned doula and birth educator wrote the following, which will hopefully put dad's mind at ease.

Myth 1 - If a woman has her partner, the doula becomes redundant.

Reality - The doula may be the only person at the labor besides the partner who is there solely for the emotional well-being of the woman. The nurse, the doctor, the midwife have other priorities that compete with the emotional care of the woman: for example, breaks, shift changes, clinical responsibilities, office hours and hospital policies. The doula has few or no other priorities. She stays through shift changes, and until after the baby is born She is not just another stranger with the couple; she has the woman's needs as her sole priority. In some cases, the couple will bring several other friends or family members into labor with them. Sometimes these people can be uncertain of how to help which leads to confusion and actually adds to the woman's stress. The doula can direct and coordinate the efforts of a group of people, giving them all something useful to do, so they work as a team on the woman's behalf.

Myth 2 - The doula "takes over", displacing the partner and interferes with their intimate experience.

Reality - The doula can actually bring the couple closer. By making sure that the partner's needs are met (food, drink, occasional back rubs, and reassurance), the woman and partner can work more closely together. The doula allows for the partner to participate at his own comfort level. Some partners prefer to be there only to witness the birth of their child and to share this experience with the woman they love. They may not want to play an active role and do not want to be responsible for the woman's comfort and emotional security. The doula can fill in and allow the partner to participate as he wishes, without leaving the woman's needs unmet. When the partner chooses to be the major source of emotional support, the doula can supplement his or her efforts by running errands, making suggestions for comfort measures, and offering words of reassurance and comfort. During a long tiring labor, she can give the partner a break for a brief rest or change of scene. While the doula probably knows more than the partner about birth, hospitals, and maternity care, the partner knows more about the woman's personality, likes and dislikes, and needs. Moreover, he loves the woman more than anyone else there. The combined contributions of partner and doula, along with a competent, considerate and caring staff gives the woman the best chance of an optimal outcome.

Myth 3 - The doula has her own beliefs about how the birth should go, and imposes it on the woman or couple.

Reality - The doula's true agenda is to help ensure that the woman's or couple's agenda is acknowledged and followed as much as possible. If the doula is thoroughly familiar with the couple's wishes and their birth plan, she may actually think more about it than the couple, especially when labor is intense and things are happening rapidly. The doula can remind the staff or the couple of some items on the birth plan that are forgotten, but which later might be important. Sometimes if a birth plan is not followed, the couple later look back with regret or disappointment. The doula helps with decision-making by asking questions that will ensure that the right information is given to the woman or couple so that they can make an informed decision. She may also suggest alternatives for the couple to consider. She does not, however, make decisions for the couple. In summary, the doula helps make the birth experience to be as rewarding and satisfying as possible.

As one father said, "I heaved a big sigh of relief when she (the doula) walked in. I hadn't realized how much pressure I had been feeling. She not only calmed my wife, she calmed me down."

I know my own husband was so happy with our doula's services that he wished we could have paid her twice her fee, because her presence made him feel so much more relaxed and able to focus on the birth, rather than worrying about me.