Sam's Birth Story, Part II

Just a little after midnight, on Friday, May 23rd (39 weeks, 4 days pregnant), I woke up to go to the bathroom. After emptying my bladder, I knew it would be impossible to go back to sleep. I had had pretty bad insomnia for the past several weeks. Moving around in bed was just so painful, and I had to get up to pee every half-hour, so it was hard to see the point of trying to sleep for any length of time. I headed to the living room and watched the season finale of Grey's Anatomy and ate a bowl of cereal. At about 3 AM I went back to bed and as soon as I laid down I had a pretty intense contraction. I laid there to see if another one would follow -- it did, but not for another half-hour. Thirty minutes later, I had another one. Then another twenty minutes later, then ten minutes later, then five minutes later. They were definitely getting closer together.

All this time I just laid on my side watching the clock, until contractions seemed to be about 3-5 minutes apart, when I got up to get on the computer just to distract myself. I announced to my online due date club I was in labor, emailed some friends, and timed my contractions using contraction master. Because my labor with Charlie was about five hours total, I assumed I would be holding my baby before lunch time.After about half-an-hour of contractions that were about three minutes apart, I called my midwife, my doula and my mother at about 5:30 AM and woke Mike up to get the birth pool ready.

My contractions were strong, and I had to focus through them. I moved to the living room and bounced on my exercise ball, listening to Mike fill the birth pool with air (it was annoyingly VERY loud), and John, who had since woken up, trying to help while asking lots of questions. I felt irritable and just not able to focus. The chaos of my house that morning, as the sun was coming up, was not how I envisioned my beautiful homebirth. Soon the midwives arrived, along with my doula, Stacey. Stacey had been at my last birth, and has since become a very good friend and doula mentor. I couldn't imagine giving birth without her. I was happy to have everyone there, but as soon as they arrived it seemed that my contractions slowed and were no longer moving in a regular pattern. They were still painful and intense (I described them as 6 cm contractions, as they felt about as painful as the contractions I experienced when I was 6 cm along before I gave birth to Charlie), but very spaced out. I started to feel like a watched pot, and told everyone that I was going to go lay down in my bedroom and try and rest. I was really tired, as I had really not slept the night before. I laid in bed for more than an hour, listening to my ipod, trying to focus on my body, willing the contractions to come.

At some point my mom came in to let me know she was there. I shared with her that I thought things were slowing down and I was discouraged. I had assumed that the baby would be here before noon, but it seemed like that wasn't going to happen. Around 8:00 AM, Lennon, the midwife's apprentice, came in to let me know that Pamela, my midwife, was going to go back to Salem to go to her other job, but that she would come back as soon as I needed her. Lennon also let me know that it was very common for moms' labors to slow down as the sun comes up, as it is when our house starts getting busy and our other children need our attention. Stacey also came into my room to see how I was doing. I expressed my frustration. Why was I having these painful contractions 10 minutes apart, when in my last labor these types of contractions seemed to get closer and closer together? I worried that something might be wrong. Both she and Lennon assured me that everything was fine. That I would develop a regular labor pattern, but that things probably wouldn't pick up until the nighttime, when the kids were in bed.

I asked Lennon if she thought I should have a vaginal exam to check my dilation (I hadn't had one during all of my pregnancy, and actually had a goal to not have one at all -- I wanted to be able to just trust my own instincts when it came to labor and pushing). Lennon was willing to do one, but she asked me what I hoped to gain by that information. She reminded me that my current dilation was no indication as to how long I would labor. I decided against the exam. I was just frustrated and impatient. At 9:30 AM I sent everyone home with the hopes that I would be calling them shortly when labor picked up. I almost cried as I heard their cars pulling away.

Meanwhile, my contractions, painful, but irregular, continued.